THe Grotto

 

The grotto of Massabile in Lourdes.

I would rather apologize to my Lord in humility, than pretend I am holy or outstanding in any way.

It is easy to be alone and ignored as a lost object. People who insult others can count on the Good Lord to rectify things in His justice, so that even the offender who ridicules and deprecates others can lay claim to no distinction except that the Good Lord chooses to dignify them with any virtue.

We must recognize our brother's virtues no matter how repugnant they may be. If we do not, then we can lay claim to no rights from God, nor gifts or any prodigies at all. It is better to enter heaven without distinction than to think we merit something that is no merit at all.

Some of the immiigrant people who live here insist on calling me "father", and even if I am at a distance in the main room, if they see me, they will rise and bow their head towards me. I make a point of greeting people whether I know them or not. I do not speak their language, but a smile is word enough, and after a while, people will recognize you and return your smile, and on a day when pain is particularly insistent, recognition, even by a stranger, is like a warm pat placed on the head in comforting.

If my mind is not beseieged by temptations, it is besieged by the intrusion of the most insistent pain, and I get only enough sleep to survive.

It is not pleasant to be the toy of a proud mind, to be reidiculed in their facile way, and relegated to the common scrap pile. If it had not been for the people who accompanied Him to Golgotha, the Lord's pprescious body would have been taken down roughly and and thrown into the pile of other crucified corpses  to rot and disintegrate. The Romans counted on that kind of evil to keep people compliant and obedient, even in the midst of hunger and abuse.

The people of God should recognize that Jesus endured all that He did in order to move us to love Him so that He might impose any emulation of His crucifixion and passion He would like, to appease the Father's justice.

I used to be astounded by science and the universe it describes, until I caught a glimpse of the passion of Our Lord, and it was all put into perspective for me. First comes love, then comprehension of magnificence and splendor of the Lord that science reveals, and I get to see that nothing I can know in this world will satisfy me after He has revealed His heart, even to the likes of me who is not worthy to know it.

I was touched when I learned about Padre Pio''s stigmatization.In the choir lift after Mass, he was kneeling in prayer before a crucifix when he was suddenly caught up in his own crucifixion alone and unaided, so that he had to crawl on his hands and knees to get back to his cell, where he was discovered on the flood in a pool of his own blood.

Despite losing as much blood each day as he did, Padre Pio was able to carry out his daily duties without accommodation. I hope one day to thank him for his generosity in giving himself over to the crucifixion which descended upon him.

I am able to do what I need to do, and it pleases me if I can offer some suffering to Jesus who endures so much at our hands, as if He were unworthy and contemptible. Rather, it is I who am contemptible, and I find myself often to have failed to yeild to accept some trifle, until He gently reminds me, and the stabbing pains stir again the memory of His love. If I am a star, I am an undistinguished one whose light is poor and who is unstedfast enough to sin or displease the Lord. At least to be humiliated by the recognition of one's weakness disposes one to try better, to love God and other people as He loved us.

Love sees what pleases God if one enters into knowledge of His love, which one may liken to a revelation. To accept incapacitating moments of pain for the sake of someone else's need does more than anything else to reveal God's love to us, if only we might have the generosity and humility to embrace Him; to embrace Jesus is to embrace the cross, and it is a noble place to be to accept His embrace of us in return, even when it occaisions a great deal of suffering unknown and in silent solitude.

Padre Pio was a human being with nerve endings, and an instinct of self preservation the same as all the rest of his companions in life. Still, he allowed the Lord to impose His crucifixion on him so that he might help save souls and ease the sufferings of so many who endured the second world war.

Now, we find ourselves surrounded everywhere with the greatest terrors and people cringe to contemplate the suffering about to enhulf them. And while nuclear annhilation is not pleasant, there is always some new innovation rearing its ugly head to kill millions or even more if possible. This modern age is so eager for invention that it has made the earth continually tremble in destruction and the terror those who are helpless to avoid the catastrophes we hail with such pride. That  pride will be utterly crushed. Live humbly in peace and pray in silence wherever you are. The  person who does will not go to hell, but will escape hell on the last day.