Because

 

I wrote because He asked me to.

What happened three days after He was crucified? The stone sealing the sepulcher was rolled aside to open it up, and Mary Magdalen encountered Jesus, not recognizing Him. Somehow His appearance was different, and Mary did not recognize Him. 

I am a creature of  God, and He has risen, and has revealed Himself to me day by day over 76 years. Sometimes it was through harsh pain, deep abandonment and profound silent solitude, resonating with the Spirit of a risen Lord, at a time when my soul was drier than a desert emptiness. 

The desert was too vast; I could not take it in, yet I was abandoned here, waiting for His command. He was silent as no one else can be silent - after He has spoken calling you, no one tells you how silent it is when He stops speaking, and my soul was in agony to hear again, the voice Whom I loved.

I wanted to enter into the mystery of a man alive with deadly wounds pouring forth blood like Jesus; I did, but not the way I'd hoped. It was ever so hidden and mundane, almost to the point of feeling I had died. But I had and it took me a while to recognize the landscape and orient to a new life.

O how I wish that resurrection would burst forth within you, pain and desolation and all, so you might catch at least a fleeting glimpse of real glory you could remember forever.

The miracle was that was changed in subtle ways, uplifted, glorified and transfigured until I scarcely recognized myself.

I am different; my soul wants to cry out so people who cannot hear will hear me, and so people who cannot see, might glimpse sight again and realize the life that He is waiting to given them. It is nothing like what people force themselves to see; it is more subtle than merely getting what you want. It is enough to ask Him "Crucify me, Lord so I may serve you ! "But He says, you are already crucified, you need nothing more but to follow me."

Sometimes I ache so badly, that no one sees. Neither in a word I say, nor in a drop of blood, do I proclaim what He bids me say, but angels in heaven kneel before the word of God and raptured up into heaven high, all heads are bowed low before the living God. They stood in disbelief to see what was revealed, and I did not realize, or recognize the Lord at first. I still stand before Him offering my poor self and bodily me, trembling prayers on my lips. Sometimes my mouth was too dry to swallow, and sometimes the pain pressed me hard against the unyielding rock, caring nothing for my distress. Yet, under the blazing sun, He told me to enter the cave, and I waited just inside as cataclysms flew by in terrifying roars. Me, of all persons I know who deserved more to see what was shown.

Now is the time to standard in ordinary daylight listening to sparrows singing in the trees, and wondering at the Spirit flowing in the wind through me.

It all boils down to one saying: "He is risen."

Because

 

I wrote because He asked me to.

What happened three days after He was crucified? The stone sealing the sepulcher was rolled aside to open it up, and Mary Magdalen encountered Jesus, not recognizing Him. Somehow His appearance was different, and Mary did not recognize Him. 

I am a creature of  God, and He has risen, and has revealed Himself to me day by day over 76 years. Sometimes it was through harsh pain, deep abandonment and profound silent solitude, resonating with the Spirit of a risen Lord, at a time when my soul was drier than a desert emptiness. 

The desert was too vast; I could not take it in, yet I was abandoned here, waiting for His command. He was silent as no one else can be silent - after He has spoken calling you, no one tells you how silent it is when He stops speaking, and my soul was in agony to hear again, the voice Whom I loved.

I wanted to enter into the mystery of a man alive with deadly wounds pouring forth blood like Jesus; I did, but not the way I'd hoped. It was ever so hidden and mundane, almost to the point of feeling I had died. But I had and it took me a while to recognize the landscape and orient to a new life.

O how I wish that resurrection would burst forth within you, pain and desolation and all, so you might catch at least a fleeting glimpse of real glory you could remember forever.

The miracle was that was changed in subtle ways, uplifted, glorified and transfigured until I scarcely recognized myself.

I am different; my soul wants to cry out so people who cannot hear will hear me, and so people who cannot see, might glimpse sight again and realize the life that He is waiting to given them. It is nothing like what people force themselves to see; it is more subtle than merely getting what you want. It is enough to ask Him "Crucify me, Lord so I may serve you ! "But He says, you are already crucified, you need nothing more but to follow me."

Sometimes I ache so badly, that no one sees. Neither in a word I say, nor in a drop of blood, do I proclaim what He bids me say, but angels in heaven kneel before the word of God and raptured up into heaven high, all heads are bowed low before the living God. They stood in disbelief to see what was revealed, and I did not realize, or recognize the Lord at first. I still stand before Him offering my poor self and bodily me, trembling prayers on my lips. Sometimes my mouth was too dry to swallow, and sometimes the pain pressed me hard against the unyielding rock, caring nothing for my distress. Yet, under the blazing sun, He told me to enter the cave, and I waited just inside as cataclysms flew by in terrifying roars. Me, of all persons I know who deserved more to see what was shown.

Now is the time to standard in ordinary daylight listening to sparrows singing in the trees, and wondering at the Spirit flowing in the wind through me.

It all boils down to one saying: "He is risen."

Trust

Will you come?

 Perhaps we can take a lesson in humility from the circumstance of Holy Saturday. None of us was at Golgotha, let alone the sepulcher, and certainly none of us was privy to anointing and  clothing of the Body of Jesus. That mystery is for the human race, like a great stone wall through which none of us can see. Death itself is a great enough mystery to terrify the whole world, and Jesus faced it, and passed through it to realms of which we know nothing.

Yet, Jesus can be with us who wish to be, and to be His possession, so that we can pass through the mystery of death and life and our transformation.  

We must make ourselves utterly available to Him, and pliant in His hands. That is to say, we need faith which Jesus Himself wishes to give personally to each of us, sufficient for whatever He asks of us. If it will be sufficient, then the mystery is, for us, already revealed and accomplished; there is no need for fear or apprehension. The number of ages through which our existence was summoned no longer matter; we already exist, and we will continue to exist, and the way of our existence is safe in His hands, so we may learn trust, and love and faith. If we have matured in Christ, then we no longer need to worry that we have not fulfilled our part of the bargain. Jesus has died, and while we wait to die, we prepare to live in Him, according to His promises.

Christianity is not about ego, vanity or despair nor disappointment. He is not troubled with our disappointment, because He holds  our belief in His hands where it can be safe, so that our security is no longed founded in this life, but already exists in Christ.

What security can we provide Jesus in the matter of a loan He has granted us? We can only pledge our life, and our weakness and sinfulness, against His certainty and His own pledge of salvation. The matter of failures must be swallowed up in the accepting love of God which assures us of His love, a love that covered us with divine life so we would be well-supplied before our passage has been accomplished.

My Jesus We trust in You. 

Trust

Will you come?

 Perhaps we can take a lesson in humility from the circumstance of Holy Saturday. None of us was at Golgotha, let alone the sepulcher, and certainly none of us was privy to anointing and  clothing of the Body of Jesus. That mystery is for the human race, like a great stone wall through which none of us can see. Death itself is a great enough mystery to terrify the whole world, and Jesus faced it, and passed through it to realms of which we know nothing.

Yet, Jesus can be with us who wish to be, and to be His possession, so that we can pass through the mystery of death and life and our transformation.  

We must make ourselves utterly available to Him, and pliant in His hands. That is to say, we need faith which Jesus Himself wishes to give personally to each of us, sufficient for whatever He asks of us. If it will be sufficient, then the mystery is, for us, already revealed and accomplished; there is no need for fear or apprehension. The number of ages through which our existence was summoned no longer matter; we already exist, and we will continue to exist, and the way of our existence is safe in His hands, so we may learn trust, and love and faith. If we have matured in Christ, then we no longer need to worry that we have not fulfilled our part of the bargain. Jesus has died, and while we wait to die, we prepare to live in Him, according to His promises.

Christianity is not about ego, vanity or despair nor disappointment. He is not troubled with our disappointment, because He holds  our belief in His hands where it can be safe, so that our security is no longed founded in this life, but already exists in Christ.

What security can we provide Jesus in the matter of a loan He has granted us? We can only pledge our life, and our weakness and sinfulness, against His certainty and His own pledge of salvation. The matter of failures must be swallowed up in the accepting love of God which assures us of His love, a love that covered us with divine life so we would be well-supplied before our passage has been accomplished.

My Jesus We trust in You. 

Acceptance

 

I am sensitive to rejection, and in thinking about the last supper of Jesus, I encounter Him pondering the depth of rejection by human beings, that led to His dying. How He could go on to finish what He began in such a humiliating way, I cannot fathom.

In the face of the passion-life of Jesus, from the triumphant entry into Jerusalem to the rolling of the stone to seal His sepulcher, the physical component was devastating enough, but to be able to persevere and endure until His death, is unimaginable in merely human terms.

Let us not forget how much He loved the human race, including those who rejected Him and sought His death by crucifixion from Pontius Pilate.

One can make no sense of the suffering without a feeling for the love. To imagine one could cooperate with being nailed to a cross is impossible, because it only exists as an outcome of a Will that is divine and totally dedicated to love.

Neither can a man desire and achieve the crucifixion without a grasp of love, especially divine love. St. Padre Pio described how Jesus appeared to Him during his prayers, holding a lance which He thrust into the side of Padre Pio, and the imposition of nails into his feet and hands. There is also the matter of the suffering of the crown of thorns, the scourging and the physical abuse He endured. These too he encountered and suffered with for at least fifty years, quietly, silently and patiently amongst a humanity drowning in sin without realizing what was happening. That has not stopped, nor has it diminished until this moment.

Jesus still endures this in all the ages since until right now. Our prayers are weak, but we still must say them, and to say them we must want to say them, in order that His love might pervade reality until we do love and want to pray.

There are certain truths which we cannot reject and still call ourselves Christians. Men avidly embrace spurious creeds and beliefs that go counter to logic, reason and God's truth, and they reject the creed of Jesus which He handed down to us which can be used to make us saints and assure a place at His side in triumph. The rejection of the truths of Jesus in arrogance is equally painful to Him, and He will do all He can to counter lies with truth, but men who reject the truth have fallen off the earth and are adrift in darkness until the new reality begins. Until then, those willing to atone are few but very well blessed. Padre Pio could not accept what Jesus brought him the day Jesus penetrated his side, and pierced his hands and feet so he could be like Him and He could be with him as He was as he prayed to save souls. His acceptance of the Will of Jesus was accomplished by the same love with which Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane.

So, if you are sad with an endless sorrow, suffer loneliness and emptiness in the desert that is life, we should realize how close we are to sharing with the love that enabled Jesus to receive crucifixion. We cannot love enough on our own to be able to accept the offer of the cross, regardless of what it means. For Jesus, it meant suffering beyond imagining and a labor of divine love to incorporate the cross into the divine life, from whence all suffering of His passion comes forth from Him.

One might reflect that his own personal share in the cross this Lent does not amount to much, no matter how deeply we suffer pain and rejection in life.

Yet, enough people evidently have received enough love to accept a great deal, or life as we know it might already have been extinguished in the world. The light we have and that is, emanates from the love in Jesus and His cross and the adherence to the Faith and the truth. No one can say they are Christian, let alone Catholic, who are actually willing to accept as truth, what is a lie and contrary to what He has revealed to us.

Do not fear that you realize your weakness, but fear that anything might separate you from the suffering Jesus and a participation in His passion life.

To be saved means not to cease to exist separate from Jesus. The whole universe will change in an instant to a new reality we cannot imagine; Scripture tells us so. Jesus bore the agony of their loss and the loss of their love. We cannot imagine not being, but it is possible to not be. To be missing from the  universe would be bad enough, but to be suddenly aware that we also are separated from Jesus is incomprehensible. Our enemy who hates truth and hates love hates us and Jesus as well. We must be  counted one way or the other, do we accept the truth, and union with Jesus, and all that must be endured in order to be with Him forever, or not? At some momentous point in life we will be asked; pray that you may say the word that saves you and fulfills His Will at the same instant of His love.

Acceptance

 

I am sensitive to rejection, and in thinking about the last supper of Jesus, I encounter Him pondering the depth of rejection by human beings, that led to His dying. How He could go on to finish what He began in such a humiliating way, I cannot fathom.

In the face of the passion-life of Jesus, from the triumphant entry into Jerusalem to the rolling of the stone to seal His sepulcher, the physical component was devastating enough, but to be able to persevere and endure until His death, is unimaginable in merely human terms.

Let us not forget how much He loved the human race, including those who rejected Him and sought His death by crucifixion from Pontius Pilate.

One can make no sense of the suffering without a feeling for the love. To imagine one could cooperate with being nailed to a cross is impossible, because it only exists as an outcome of a Will that is divine and totally dedicated to love.

Neither can a man desire and achieve the crucifixion without a grasp of love, especially divine love. St. Padre Pio described how Jesus appeared to Him during his prayers, holding a lance which He thrust into the side of Padre Pio, and the imposition of nails into his feet and hands. There is also the matter of the suffering of the crown of thorns, the scourging and the physical abuse He endured. These too he encountered and suffered with for at least fifty years, quietly, silently and patiently amongst a humanity drowning in sin without realizing what was happening. That has not stopped, nor has it diminished until this moment.

Jesus still endures this in all the ages since until right now. Our prayers are weak, but we still must say them, and to say them we must want to say them, in order that His love might pervade reality until we do love and want to pray.

There are certain truths which we cannot reject and still call ourselves Christians. Men avidly embrace spurious creeds and beliefs that go counter to logic, reason and God's truth, and they reject the creed of Jesus which He handed down to us which can be used to make us saints and assure a place at His side in triumph. The rejection of the truths of Jesus in arrogance is equally painful to Him, and He will do all He can to counter lies with truth, but men who reject the truth have fallen off the earth and are adrift in darkness until the new reality begins. Until then, those willing to atone are few but very well blessed. Padre Pio could not accept what Jesus brought him the day Jesus penetrated his side, and pierced his hands and feet so he could be like Him and He could be with him as He was as he prayed to save souls. His acceptance of the Will of Jesus was accomplished by the same love with which Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane.

So, if you are sad with an endless sorrow, suffer loneliness and emptiness in the desert that is life, we should realize how close we are to sharing with the love that enabled Jesus to receive crucifixion. We cannot love enough on our own to be able to accept the offer of the cross, regardless of what it means. For Jesus, it meant suffering beyond imagining and a labor of divine love to incorporate the cross into the divine life, from whence all suffering of His passion comes forth from Him.

One might reflect that his own personal share in the cross this Lent does not amount to much, no matter how deeply we suffer pain and rejection in life.

Yet, enough people evidently have received enough love to accept a great deal, or life as we know it might already have been extinguished in the world. The light we have and that is, emanates from the love in Jesus and His cross and the adherence to the Faith and the truth. No one can say they are Christian, let alone Catholic, who are actually willing to accept as truth, what is a lie and contrary to what He has revealed to us.

Do not fear that you realize your weakness, but fear that anything might separate you from the suffering Jesus and a participation in His passion life.

To be saved means not to cease to exist separate from Jesus. The whole universe will change in an instant to a new reality we cannot imagine; Scripture tells us so. Jesus bore the agony of their loss and the loss of their love. We cannot imagine not being, but it is possible to not be. To be missing from the  universe would be bad enough, but to be suddenly aware that we also are separated from Jesus is incomprehensible. Our enemy who hates truth and hates love hates us and Jesus as well. We must be  counted one way or the other, do we accept the truth, and union with Jesus, and all that must be endured in order to be with Him forever, or not? At some momentous point in life we will be asked; pray that you may say the word that saves you and fulfills His Will at the same instant of His love.

Purpose

What keeps you from seeing His light?

A Hermit's Response to Life

The purpose of solitude is not so you can enter into yourself and drown, but so you are free to love God besides all other things. Being intent on yourself is a trap so long as it does not lead to union with God.

If God is leading you into yourself, there is something He wants you to see. If you do the fasting and privations called for to live the solitary life, you will have a sense of God leading you, revealing you to yourself so that you can see the obstacles that stand between you and the perfect vision of God.

If the fasting and privations lead you relentlessly back into yourself, then you should be busy with your hands, perhaps encouraging someone else and healing those in need of healing. For those activities, one needs to be aware of the presence of God, and to be motivated by His love, since that is where all good things have their origin. Helping someone fix a tire, or buying someone homeless a meal is a good choice.

To perform the works of mercy only means to realize what other people are going through, and doing what you can do for them. 

To perform the works of mercy only means to see the passion of the Christ and how the world has been drawn into it. It was easy enough to see the works of mercy Jesus did while He was with us, preaching and teaching and healing and delivering people across the width and breadth of Israel. He sent out disciples because He could not be physically present to them all to preach the coming of the Kingdom of God.

It is still that way. Each of us participates personally in the passion of Jesus. Make room in the time you have available to you to encounter your participation in Jesus and His passion. It is uncommon for most to see vividly enough the wounds of His death so as to inform our hearts how we love the Lord. Too often we have injured our relationship with God, sinned, and become so broken hearted about it we forget the offense we committed or the need to get past the all too real pain of guilt or shame. Acknowledge sin, ask forgiveness and make atonement and your heart will be free, and then you are ready to embrace Him as in the Garden. There, time is still, and quiet lets us hear His love, and rest invades out mortality to comfort us.

Jesus does not begrudge anyone rest or peace or comfort. He endured a great deal to be able to give it to us, but in return He wishes us to actually give ourselves to Him as we have not before, so that He can give Himself as He wishes, He might have been able to give Himself to us.

You who feel the burden of your sins, forget them. Remember instead how Jesus loves you and the visibly certain signs that He loves us all infinitely.