I'm a hermit and a monk. I am not a priest which means I cannot perform any of the sacraments and cannot say Mass, I live by myself by choice in accordance with what I feel the Lord wants. A part of the eremitical (hermit) life is fasting, which is foregoing legitimate things, particculalrly eating, as a means of achieving solidarity with Christ in my life. I ask God fervently for world peace and the coming of the kingdom of God. Foregoing sleep is also a part of the life during every day. In the time I could spend sleeping, I say my Rosary for world peace and the neds of which I have been made aware. I spend a lot of time on the internet, so I am aware of many great needs. Children suffering require the graces of God to provide what all perople need. I do not go around begging and I do not collect any money. All my needs are met, not by the archdiocese I live in but through social security, like most other people my age. My medical needs are provided through the VA.

So there are many facets of my life which may be similar to the lives of other people. My companionship does not come from a wife or lover, but in my striving to please God, which is why I do not get much sleep. God provides what I need in the amount of my sleep, though I often complain I am not getting enough <s>. He knows what I need, and does provide through the amount of physical rest I get. Those two things, fasting and wakefulness , are the penance in my life, aside from accepting the pains of old age willingly and with conscious acceptance. Nothing I have written so far makes me a hero of any kind. But other people do notice things about me; a friend who is a resident where I live remarked that I had lost weight, which I have, assisted by some of the medications I take for diabetes. Between being old and diabetic and sleep-deprived there is plenty enough participation in His passion sufferings to provide something of value to other peoples' needs. The internet is full of examples of people I would consider saintly, who suffer twice as much whatever their age. I am in solidarity with other people through the sufferings and hope to add my merits to theirs.

Look around you. In your life there are saints. Their selfless genraoity saves lives and works miracles, irrespective of what they may think to the contrary. With a little affection, one may attain great comfort in the presence of God in their lives, who is eager that they should strive for sanctity by the acceptance of their sorrows and the offering of the suffering to God for the needs of others. There are many hermits in life. Many dedicate themselves to God and prayer consciously seeking solidarity with Jesus and His children. Before you turn away and say "I am not worthy, no r am I capable" let me contradict you; If you are aware there is a God whom you respect and have any affection at all, you are close to the moastic ferver that filled the ancients and the saints of medieval life.

I would appreciate your prayers to succeed, I have enough of the earth's things. I need to love God more fervently, and your solidarity can help me succeed in that.

Compassion

 Compassion depends somewhat on our life experiences.  THe more difficult an experience was, the more difficult it till be to feel compassionate towards another. Yet our life craves mercy and compassion, so that one might have much negative feeling toward someone who needs compassion. Yet, if we follow Jesus, we must put aside our feelings and allow compassion to come forth on its own. If we find it diffcult or repulsive to demonstrate compassion, we must keep in mind those days which are always lurking ; to ease our passage through the difficulties in life, we need to exercise it frequently so it remains as strong as possible.

Gratitude eases our difficlties in life whatever they are. It may seem repugnant to encounter misfortune, but the more we deal wit it, the stronger our compassion becomes, until anyone can benefit from our life and attitides.

We do  not voyage througgh life alone.

Stone

 God does not turn a stony heart into flesh and blood. He works for years, if necessary, before allowing His children to discover on their own, that their 

hearts have not changed, but they themselves have changed into affectionate loving beings to which He can give access to His own heart.

The pentitential spirit of the child of Christ allows the pain to show and to be felt and endured. Thus, pain can last a while because the scope of the crucifixion is all-encompassing, even engulfing the feelings of others, like warmth of a fire on a cold day.

The quest to become the affectionate children of God can take a long time,
and the turning of the feelings to the feeling that moves the Sacred Heart slowly and inexorably moves us until we participate in the cross, Christ's perfection and the loving being that He wants. Let  no one be ashamed or think that our sins have excluded us from His affections, because that would be a lie, and a child of God cannot live out lies, they must live out the life of CHrist. When Francis entered the shelter in the ravine, he knew that Jesus was going to act on him, perhps even realizing that the wounds themselves were going to unite him to Christ Himself in the mystery of His shared passion.

So do not pine like a grieving puppy. He has taken care of you and will continue to do so, protecting and encouraging whoever comes toward Him. Surely you do not believe the liar? 

Sharing

 Thursday is the day before Friday, and the day of Our Lord's last supper before He was betrayed and abandoned Himself to His enemies. The apostles ate well and fell asleep just when Jesus began to confront the savgery that was about to engulf Him.

As such, it is a day before crucifixion which He encountered the night of His last supper, and so rightly, deserves to be commemoratedby Christians as the day He began the cylce that will save the Church and the faithful of Christ. 

I have grown accustomed to Fridays being days I encounter suffering for Jesus in my daily life, more so than on other days. I had long prayed to share His passion with Him by manifesting His wounds in me, an unbelievable arrogance on my part. The Lord's love forgive a multitude of sins, but something is demanded in return. I have perceived it not only as physical suffering, but the other kinds of deprivation which manifest themselves as degrees ofun pleasant miseries, always alone. Jesus might have been on a different planet; He saw what He was accepting as loving us enough to endure to erase the suffering of encountering our sins. It is bad enough not to care enough to recall His suffering but not to care if He is near or not, when He wishes us to be filled with light and love at a time when darkness and and sorrow engulfed HIm without relief.

He always ends what He begins. He began accepting rejection and loneiness along with blowd and scourging and nails. St. Padre Pio finally encountered the end of his own participation oin the passion of Jesus, effectively offering his own personal experience of the passion alongside with the fullness of His own passion suffering so that a potent remedy might be brought to bear on the reality of our sins.

The world is teeming in billions of people, all of which must reconcile with God for our sins. We must atone for what we acknowledge, and we should always be ready to encounter the terrible deprivation that is caused by sin. My prayer to share in His passion was not ignored; to the contrary, the fact that my body is intact and not bleeding is proof enough of the way He would share it with me and I might confront my selfishness in even desiring it. One way or another the present human race will encounter catastrophes that are so terrible in their import. People still betray one another and condemne each other to catastrophic anihilation, feel in their rage that they are justified.They will confront the end of such thinking when He reveals His love after civilization is impoverished and ceases to exist.

His love is what He offers and that which He desires us to acknowledge. He is not counting so much the depth of our sins but the greatness of the greatness of His love in forgiving us and asking to little in return.

He sees the unspeakble ways human beings are assaulted by evil and the consequences of human lack of concern. He comes for everyone, for each individual man woman or child. In the end, He  reckons with us and we are welcomed if we wish His welcome. The tragedy that exists is that so many do not care and are not moved for even a moment. He alons knows fully what that means, and He alone has dealt with it for each individual. He can deal with a million as easilly as with a billion. He knows how to provide for them and how to care for each individually even while we struggle to be reconciled with Him. 

I live alone and He dwells with me, and I try not to trouble Him unduly in His work, to care for me in my misery. He has not asked much, mostly that I recognise my sins and selfishness and try tosurpass these things and receive His love, overcome as I am, with my sins.

Do not be put off with the evident pain of my passion. I feel your poverty and wish to fill you up with my love.

After

I have noticed that after prayer, I see reality in a new light, permeated with peace and filled with joy. It is a very subtle, gentle joy, not at all boisterous. I have also noticed events more clearly without the oppression of fear or dissatistion. If you find yourself lacking in any of these essentials, you might try prayer to see if God might have a surprise in store for you. It remains true that the world is full of evil and fear and anger and unrelenting lust or hunger, thet acn be surpassed and transfigured by the Lord, and the cost is littel; a little time and a little unselfishness are all that are required.

Not everyone is sut out to be a monk nor is everyone destined for sanctity, but if you find satisfaction in the midst of it all, what have you lost?

St. Padre Pio pray for us to learn to love the Lord.

 

Discouragement

It is often very discouraging to put one foot in front of the other only to discover that you have not moved at all.  Do not be discouraged. You are where you need to be. Continue doing what you need to do, which is to do the will of God without hesitation. Although it may seem nothing has changed, don't listen to the voices that defy the Lord or betray His love by believing He has abndoned you. If the throne of His passion and the nails in your body seem only to hurt worse than the day before, the voice of God which utters in your being please Him for your steadfast love. Many will be saved because you did. You do not need great miracles or spiritual prodigies to stun the world. Love the Lord and His people. That will please Him most. The day of rest and peace which His light gives you so abundantly cannot be dismissed but will be proven true because He speaks truth.

Burdens

 If we stay in the light of the Lord, no politician or political party can prevail against us. So it fol;lows, that if we reserve our rights within ourselves iand stay in His presence, our enemies can do nothing. Their limbs are weighed down as if encased in concrete. It is amazing the way the Lord frees His people and bogs down His enemies. If God has enemies, you know you have enemies too, but those who belong to the Lord are free and their burdens light because God carries them Himself.